In Your Face, anti-Trumpers!

The last month of politics in the USA have been nothing short of WILD!  The left and the right are digging in and the 2024 election season promises to be one to remember.  First of all, a disclaimer.  Everyone is entitled to vote for whomever they want.  I recognize that it is rare that anyone on the left will change the mind of someone solidly on the right.  And the converse is true.  Our candidates - on both sides - are always flawed and imperfect.  That is the reality.  A former pastor of mine used to say, "All God's children got problems."  So true.  So please don't waste your time trying to get me to vote Democratic because my candidate is not a saint.  And I will not waste time trying to get you to vote Republican because your candidate (whoever they may be at the moment - I've lost track) is also not a saint.  So the purpose of this post is NOT to sway your vote, but because some of you on the left have mocked my candidate, my candidate's supporters, and me, relentlessly for the last 8+ years, I feel there is no better time to return the favor.  

I assert that if you hate Trump, it is because you either willingly or unknowingly consume your news from mainstream media sources and the DNC.  Likewise, this may be why you were surprised at how bad Biden performed in the June 27 debate with Trump.  You have been gaslighted and lied to for years by the hundreds of hoaxes and false narratives perpetrated by your "esteemed" sources of news and information.  You may say that you use a variety of sources, such as the AP, BBC, NY Times, Washington Post, NPR, ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and Reuters.  But those are all in on the same game.

Scott Adams, who is the brilliant creator of the Dilbert cartoon, is also a pretty savvy political observer, and wisely wrote in an X post on July 20, 2024, "Cults need to isolate their members from the outside world so the members can't tell how crazy the cult is. Trump supporters always see the competing narratives about Trump. That's everywhere.  Anti-Trumpers, on the other hand, generally do NOT know most stories they hear about Trump are hoaxes. That makes the anti-Trumpers the cult, albeit leaderless. They exist in a fog."

If you are an anti-Trumper, I hope that the experiences of the last month have helped to lift some of your fog.  Your leader was not Joe Biden.  And it is not now Kamala Harris.  Do you even know who is leading the Democratic party?  Your own people - the people in power and their media propaganda machine - have gaslighted you, while the rest of us have seen your side's train wreck in slow motion for years.  The so-called "middle" and "fact-reporting" sections of "The Media Bias Chart" that you have so proudly shared around for years, trying to shame us skeptics into ditching "Faux News" and what we see with our own eyes, and instead trusting all the bastions of media integrity you use, well, that chart has been solidly debunked.  The hoax was debunked live before 51+ million viewers at the debate on June 27, 2024.  I'm sorry (not sorry) for your loss.  

In the past month, after the disastrous performance (in MY opinion) by Biden in the debate, I have seen one cockamamy point of view after another from the left, either in media reporting or social media.  It has been nothing short of pure entertainment.  Then the assassination attempt happened.  And then the GOP Convention.  And then Biden dropped out of the race.  Then, previously unliked (by the right AND left) Kamala Harris was anointed as the heir apparent without ever having won a single vote for the role (in 2020 or 2024).  Absolutely crazy!  What better time to have a little fun with the "more-factual-than-thou" media and DNC supporters on the left?

So, let's take a test.  The following is a SUBSET (ie. not all) of the crazy things I've heard, read, or seen from the anti-Trump crowd over the last 4 years - but mostly over the last 4 weeks.  As crazy as some of these may sound, they are all actual points of view.  Give yourself one point for each of the statements you agree with.  No cheating.

2020 ELECTION

1. Hunter Biden's laptop was fake and the result of Russian disinformation as told to us by 50+ government agency leads and the media
2. The 2020 election was the most secure in history
3. January 6 protestors walking through the Capital building is an insurrection deserving of years of jail time
4. Burning down cities during riots is a mostly peaceful protest warranting a plea from the VP to donate bail money

BEFORE DEBATE

1. Trump is “literally” Hitler or Hitler 2.0 or “Hitler-like”
2. Because of that, it would be OK to kill Trump
3. The various (4?) legal trials Trump is involved with are all non-political & completely legit
4. Free speech is a threat to democracy 
5. Twitter (X) is a threat to democracy
6. Donald Trump and MAGA Republicans are a threat to the very soul of this country (Biden quote)
7. Biden reviews more than 1% of his social media posts and/or writes them himself 
8. The border is secure
9. Extreme MAGA followers of Trump are in a cult
10. Biden inherited 9% inflation from Trump when he took office in 2021
11. The videos of Biden seeming lost or confused in the months leading up to the debate were deep fakes or cheap fakes or just plain fakes - call them what you want - they were not real
12. Biden has held regular cabinet meetings during his tenure and most surely was in command of the country, not some committee of unelected individuals  
13. Biden was in satisfactory mental condition throughout his term, until the debate, when he suddenly was not
    

14. The media and DNC did not cover for Biden during his term - he only suddenly showed signs of decline during the debate
15. Any assertions that Biden was in decline before the debate are right-wing conspiracy theories
16. Biden was at the top of his game - both mentally and physically - right up until the debate

DEBATE

1. Biden won the debate because Trump told all lies and Biden told all truth
2. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was due to his cold
3. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was due to his jetlag from travel 10+ days before
4. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was he was over-prepared
5. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was he was under-prepared
6. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was he needed more sleep
7. The reason Biden performed poorly in the debate was Trump was loud and aggressive
8. Joe did such a great job.  He answered every question.  He knew all the facts.  (per Jill Biden)

ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

1. Trump should not have had any Secret Service protection since he is a felon
2. The Secret Service did not deny extra protection when requested by Trump
3. Donald Trump is responsible for Donald Trump's assassination attempt
4. Trump staged the assassination attempt
5. I was somewhat or greatly disappointed the assassin missed
6. Trump’s ear was not hit by a bullet but by glass or something else
   
7. The roof slope where the assassin setup was too steep and unsafe for the Secret Service to cover
8. The head of Dept of Homeland Security (Mayorkis) is doing a great job and should not resign or be fired
9. The iconic photo of Trump taken right after the assassination attempt should be censored 
10. I trust the FBI and Secret Service to fairly investigate the assassination attempt and present the findings in a transparent manner
11. Trump’s assertion that he was saved by the “grace of God” is indicative of his narcissistic behavior
12. The rally-goer who was killed, Corey Comperatore, was a MAGA cult member, and therefore, one less MAGA extremist in the world is OK
13. Social media / Internet search engines are not biased and would not influence search results or posts to favor or disfavor any candidate

GOP CONVENTION

1. Trump's ear bandage was larger than necessary so that Trump could gain more sympathy points from followers
2. When Trump's attorney Alina Habba was speaking, Trump just got up and walked out for some reason that indicated something negative about Trump, though I'm not sure what, but I'm sure her speech must have been bad and that's why he walked out.
3. Trump using the firefighter outfit prop of assassin victim Corey Comperatore was inappropriate and fake sympathy shown by Trump
4. Trump's people misspelled Comperatore's name on the uniform as COMPERTORE
5. Trump used his grandchildren as props by having them sit on his lap during the convention 
6. The absence of Trump's son Barron at the convention was an indication of something nefarious about Trump, for sure

BIDEN FORCED OUT

1. Removing a candidate who won a primary election fair and square is not election interference nor is it a threat to democracy
2. In order to save democracy from Trump we have to destroy democracy in the Democrat Party
3. In order to prevent another insurrection by Trump we have to have a coup in the Democrat Party
4. Biden is not capable of running for president, but he is perfectly capable of serving out his term as president 
5. Biden stepping aside was a selfless act of heroism done completely voluntarily and for no particular reason
6. Before the debate, Biden was great.  After the debate, he needed to go.  Now that he's gone, he's great again!

KAMALA IN

1. Kamala Harris was and is qualified to step in to take over as president
2. I've heard many of the things Kamala has said in the last 5 years and I agree with most if not all of them
3. Project 2025 is a threat to our democracy and must be stopped, though I have not read it
4. Kamala was never assigned to be the border czar
5. Kamala was not involved in "Bidenomics"
6. Kamala raised millions of dollars from mostly distinct grassroots donors, not from senior citizens whose identities are unknowingly being used to make thousands of small donations to ActBlue
7. Kamala definitely does not have a drinking problem
8. It is racist or sexist to refer to Kamala Harris as Kamala just like it is racist or sexist to refer to Tiger Woods as Tiger and Magic Johnson as Magic and Hillary Clinton as Hillary
9. Before Biden dropped out, Kamala was a drag on the ticket.  Now that Biden dropped out, and Kamala has been named as the replacement, she is great!

2024 ELECTION

1. If Trump wins he should be impeached immediately after taking office for some reason.  Any reason.  We can come up with something.
2. If Trump wins in 2024, there won't be any future elections
3. If Trump wins in 2024, he will not leave office after his term is served
4. If Trump wins in 2024, non-white people will be put in concentration camps
5. If Trump wins in 2024, Trump's men will come to the doors of women around the country and force them into serving similar to what is portrayed in the work of dystopian fiction, The Handmaid's Tale
6. Democrats are not trying to find ways to allow illegal border crossers to vote in the election
7. America should not be made great again

So, what's your total score?  Here's what the results mean.

• 0 points: You and me think alike
• 1-5 points: You really should consider opening your eyes more and taking in some other media view points
• 6+ points: You have Trump Derangement Syndrome.  Please seek help.  Our democracy may depend on it.

Follow me on X, if you dare.  https://x.com/blainnc

Mom is Wonderful!

I've often written about dreams I've had about my father since he passed away in 2015.  Those dreams are always special because it's like I'm with him again, if for only a brief period.  Last night, I had a dream about Mom, who passed away in 2021.

I was in Danville for some reason.  I remember driving down a road from West Main Street down to the river.  It was one long steep hill and I was thinking that a loss of brakes would be catastrophic.  The hill in my dream was probably about 3x as long as any real such hill in Danville.  After this ride on the steep hill, I was nearby Stratford House, the assisted living place where Mom spent her last 6 years.  Like any dream that doesn't make sense, in reality, Stratford House is located at the top of that hill, not the bottom.  Anyway...

I decided to go into Stratford and say "Hello" in the event I recognized any of the staff.  I was in the lobby, which was not like the actual lobby, but a narrow hallway into a small sitting area.  I saw two employees and spoke to them.  They began talking about my Mom in the present tense.  I reminded them that she had passed way several years ago.  They looked to their left (my right) and smiled.  Around the corner stood my Mom!

She was standing straight and had great color.  She looked to be in her 70's and looked very healthy and happy.  She was smiling big!  I hugged her and asked how she was.  She said she was WONDERFUL!  She was doing GREAT!  It was the most positive I had ever heard her speak!  I was crying uncontrollably as I hugged her because I was so happy for her and happy to see her.  

I woke up and my eyes were wet and the dream was over.  

I tried to find a picture of her that exemplified the happiness I saw in my dream, and I think this picture is the only one that comes close - if you multiply it by 10!

A Brief Review of a Supposed Multi-sided News Source : ground.news

Now that AI is catching on with everything, why not apply that to news so that citizens can truly get all sides of a news story?  Sounds like a good idea at first glance.  But those of us in I/T know that while artificial “intelligence” sounds like it could be a nirvana of truthfulness, under the covers there is still programming, programmed by programmers, who themselves are human (not artificial), may or may not be intelligent, and inherently not unbiased.  So I’m always skeptical of any news story I read or see, even from sources that claim to be showing me “all sides” to a story.  

Full disclosure… I am a conservative (or what the left would call a right-wing extremist fascist).  I believe in free speech, gun rights, America, God, you should judge a person by the content of their character not by the color of their skin, capitalism, and that men should not compete in women’s sports unless it’s a sort of Billy Jean King vs Bobby Riggs thing.  I get most of my news from either the source itself (what the actual subject of the news says or does) or from The Babylon Bee, America’s #2 fake news site, behind CNN.  With that said, I recently heard about ground.news.  

At first glance, it looked pretty helpful.  It shows a news story, and the number of news outlets deemed left, center, or right which reported on the story.  It has some nice graphs and links to the actual stories.  Now, right away my critical thinking kicks in because I’ve seen that Media Bias graphic that shows the bell curve of all the news outlets and where they are on the spectrum.  Left or right?  More or less reliable?  The fact that PBS, NPR, and AP are anywhere near the middle immediately discredits this - what would otherwise be a - nice graphic, IN MY OPINION.  But I digress...

Back to ground.news... So someone (AI programmed by perfectly intelligent unbiased humans, I hope) has to determine where each news source falls on the left/center/right continuum. Maybe they get it directly from this chart.

But let’s just say they are 100% accurate on that.  Then my next question is how much of the ground.news content is "sins of commission" or "sins of omission."  The former would mean this site itself is making up or skewing news to mislead the reader.  The latter would mean this site leaves out some news for whatever reason.  If I’m coming to ground.news as my primary unbiased multi-sided news aggregation source, I would expect to see all sides of all the important news.

I decided to do a few quick tests of some recent news that, as a conservative, I found interesting. I’d like to see what the other side has to say (even though I’d already seen this because I read opposition comments and stories on social media all the time).

News Story 1:   Transgender sports ban heads to NC governor's desk

Here's that story on ground.news showing the CENTER summary:

Here's that story on ground.news showing the LEFT summary:

I found the descriptions between the left and center to be almost identical. I was pleased to see that an exact report from our local ABC11 news was cited as left-leaning, and it’s one I had retweeted a few weeks ago. Strangely, there was “not enough unique coverage to create a summary” for the right. I call B.S. on that. To get the “right” viewpoint on this story, you merely need to replace the phrase “transgender girls” with “biological males”. I quickly did a search and found a story that summarized that viewpoint.  

 

Without this "right" viewpoint, the reader might think that the mean old Republicans just hate transgender people in general and don't want them to compete in sports.  That's basically what the headline of the left and center articles says and/or implies.  The right (and correct, in my opinion) headline should be: "North Carolina has given final legislative approval to a bill banning biological males from playing on school sports teams for biological females."  THAT is the viewpoint from those on the right that ground.news failed to share.    

So I think this report from ground.news fails on both sins of commission (for equating the left and center viewpoints) and sins of omission (for omitting the right viewpoint).

News Story 2:   FBI defies subpoena on Biden corruption case

They only had one story on this one, and not only was it right, it was from (wait for it)... RUSSIA!  And of course, had an extra warning!

Well, that should immediately be disregarded because we all know the Republicans and Russians are one and the same (according to the media from the past 7 years).  This news is so much disinformation, there are no left-leaning stories about it!  But wait, this actually happened!   In fact, here's a report from the actual US House Oversight Committee website.  

Now, I am as distrusting of the government as anyone, even when the Republicans are in charge of something.  But come on, ground.news and news organizations on the left, there are more than enough curious things going on with these Bidens and the House is looking into it and subpoenaed the FBI.  And when they stiff-arm the House and fail to comply, that's not news?  Oh but wait, the left (or center, if you think NBC is not left) did report on this.  

But ground.news failed to pick that up.  So if you were searching ground.news for info you heard from your crazy conservative co-worker about the FBI not providing documentation to the House Oversight Committee, you might quickly conclude this is just more Russia disinformation to help Trump because that's essentially what ground.news showed you.  So I deem that one definitely a sin of omission.

News Story 3:   Hunter demanded $10M from Chinese energy firm because 'Bidens are the best,' have 'connections'

Here's another one that only has sources on the right, according to ground.news:

In this case, there are 2 (or 3?) and none are Russian.  Yet, here's one of MANY other stories about this from left and/or right news sources.  

There are also stories about this where Joe "The Big Guy" Biden denies involvement in his son's international business dealings, but you've probably heard those.  If you went to ground.news to fact-check this "conspiracy theory" from your crazy MAGA neighbor, you might just think it was a big nothingburger.  Again, these are sins of omission on the part of ground.news.  

Granted, I cherry-picked three stories I knew about to test my hypothesis.  But the results from ground.news were similar.  In one, the right-leaning counter viewpoint was excluded completely, thereby presenting to the reader only one side of a story.  In the other two, only the right-leaning articles were shown, which could imply the stories have no merit or are more examples of right-wing conspiracy theories, especially when one is single-sourced from Russia Today.  Yet, there were corroborating stories from the left that ground.news omitted.  These sins of omission, though similar in act, are misleading in very different ways.  One omits a contrary viewpoint.  The other omits a corroborating viewpoint.  But the result is the same: the reader is no more informed had they simply watched CNN, MSNBC, or FOX alone.  In fact, the reader may be MORE misled because they went to ground.news thinking they were finally getting a balanced view of reality.

I also went to ground.news' home landing page, assuming they would tell me what was important as "TODAY'S NEWS".  What I found was that they were leading with many fluff stories about things that really have no impact on me and the future of this country (in my opinion), such as the economy/inflation, the illegal immigration crisis, rising crime due to anti-police trends, the weaponization of federal government agencies, and the culture wars which are dividing this nation more than any time in our history.  It could be that I need to subscribe and set my profile to show me the news I'm most interested in.  Or it could be that on a Saturday afternoon, there is no important news for me.  They did have a section called "Blindspots" which seems to show stories on both left and right which are exclusively covered by one but not the other (and perhaps warrant the alternative coverage).

In conclusion, I think the key thing to be aware of when using such sites is the sin of omission.  This is as powerful a tool as outright fake news.  Both were systematically used in 2020 by left ideologues in the government to force social media outlets to omit the Hunter Biden laptop story (omission) under the lie that the laptop story was Russia disinformation (commission).  Additionally, users who shared the story were banned (censorship).  As we now know, this was the true conspiracy.

So my warning to anyone using ground.news (or any other news aggregator): Don't assume you're getting a balanced and holistic view of the news, even if that's the core of their mission.  Remember that behind every news aggregation site, whether done by AI or Ivy-league dropouts in their parents' basements, there are humans with biases, whether or not intentional.  And it's worth noting that numerous analyses indicate that journalists, in general, are heavily comprised of left-leaning folks when examining campaign contributions.  This article alone cites cases of 96% (Democrat) vs 4% (Republican) during a 2015-2016 span.  Another was 94% (D) (2008-2016).  Another was 65% D in the 2010 election cycle.  Another was 87% D or liberal causes between 2004-2007.  So when I hear that some good-hearted journalists are getting together to form a venture to help provide "balanced news" to citizens who just want to know the truth, I am highly skeptical.

And that is why I trust The Babylon Bee.  It may be satire at first, but if you wait long enough, it sometimes turns out to be more truth than anything else. 

Another Trip Around the Sun

Yesterday, I turned 57.  I'm a sentimentalist and enjoy reviewing old memories, be they photographs, videos, letters, emails, blog posts, or even social media posts.  So it's time to reflect and put another stake in the ground about what I was thinking on October 3, 2021.

This year's birthday is especially memorable as it comes exactly one month after I first noticed the song "Trip Around the Sun," sung by Jimmy Buffett and Martina McBride.  Lori and I were spending a weekend at Emerald Isle, NC, and would often play the Jimmy Buffett station on Sirius XM.  I'd heard this song many times in the background over the past year or so but finally noticed the lyrics last month, while driving back to our hotel on Route 58, at night, with the top down on the convertible, on a beautiful September evening, riding next to the love of my life and best friend.

Here's the video, which was appropriately filmed in Charleston, SC:

Link to Trip Around the Sun - Jimmy Buffett & Martina McBride

This song has caused me to reflect quite a bit on life, and how fleeting it is.  I spent the first half of my adult life dreaming of living on an island and running a Caribbean beach bar tiki hut without a care in the world.  You know, sort of like the stories Jimmy Buffett's songs portray on a regular basis.  In the second half of my adult life, reality set in, and my dreams turned to raising our 3 sons to be responsible adults and making ends meet by managing a family budget while trying to advance my career and manage my weight.  Now, this most recent "trip around the sun" introduced what I guess will be the "third half" of my adult life: retirement, health, aging, and perhaps being grandparents someday.

Here I'm singin' happy birthday

Better think about the about the wish I make

This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake

Indeed, this last year has not been a piece of cake - in a double entendre sort of way.  Both my in-laws passed away in 2020, and a large portion of the past 18 months has been spent emptying their home and barns of their possessions.  It has been no small feat, both emotionally and physically, and I've written about that in my blog.  Thankfully, our children are old enough to stay at home alone, as Lori and I have spent countless weekends in Hanover doing the work required.  Thanks to an excellent realtor we're working with, the home is now beautiful and under contract to close this week.

And then there was COVID.  What a pain that has been for everyone. 

The other "piece of cake" "this year gone by" "ain't been" is literally, the nice large piece of cake I don't (can't) have due to the bariatric surgery I had in September 2020.  It's all good, however.  I can still have a small piece!

Everyday's a revolution

Pull it together and it comes undone

Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

I'm just hangin' on while this old world keeps spinning

And it's good to know it's out of my control

If there's one thing that I've learned from all this livin'

Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go

These lyrics remind me how out of control we really are in life.  Sure, we can control a lot of our destiny by working hard, planning, budgeting, and praying.  I'm a firm believer in that.  But there is peace in knowing that we can't control everything.  There needs to be room in our lives for divine guidance - or destiny, if you prefer - to chart our course.  First, it makes life more interesting, and second, it gives us opportunities to grow and learn when dealing with life by reacting to circumstances instead of always trying to define them.

No you never see it comin'

Always wind up wonderin' where it went

Only time will tell if it was time well spent

It's another revelation

Celebrating what I should have done

With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun

Ouch.  This reminds me of the many deathbed quotes that we've all heard in various forms.  "No one ever said on their deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time on my business."  Or accumulating money.  Or buying stuff.  Indeed, the most valuable currency in life is time, and "only time will tell if it was time well spent."  This is a reminder that the "souvenirs" we collect are no match for the memories we collect during the valuable time well spent with our loved ones and friends.

I'm just hangin' on while this old world keeps spinning

And it's good to know it's out of my control

If there's one thing that I've learned from all this livin'

Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go

Yes I'll make a resolution

That I'll never make another one

Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun

Just enjoy this ride

So as the song wraps up, I am drawn back to the video Jimmy and Martina made.  The contrasts are good examples: Jimmy flying his plane, enjoying the spoils of his labor, living his dream.  Meanwhile, Martina hangs out on the beach-access walkway.  But eventually, both families are together, enjoying a low-country meal, and some songs by the beachside fire.  

As I embark upon my 58th trip around the sun, I want to be sure to enjoy those times that are not just tied to the souvenirs I collect on my journey.  But also enjoy family and friends, thankful for the fact that I can still walk up and down stairs without holding onto the railing.    

Joined the Triple-Digit Club and Under 200 Club

I have been woefully absent from blogging about my bariatric journey.  My last post on this subject was right after Thanksgiving, 12 weeks post-op.  At that point, I had reached 237 lbs, which was a major improvement over the 305.1 which was my maximum.  I haven't written about this since then, because nothing significant has happened from a bariatric / weight-loss perspective.  Well, other than I continued to lose about 1.5 - 2 pounds a week, every week, until March 21.  Around that time, I reached the triple-digit club - I had lost 100 pounds down to less than 205!  That was a major milestone.  I figured I'd wait a few more weeks, and get under 200, and then write my next blog post.  Well, then I went up and down between 200.5 and 204 for the next 6 weeks!  Then, finally, on May 6, I dipped under 200 for the first time since I was a teenager.  And now, I am celebrating!

This past weekend, I did what might be construed as an exhibit of prideful narcissism: I made a video chronicling my journey - and success.  I added music featuring Rush's song "Mission" from the 1987 album Hold Your Fire.  That song has always been motivational to me, and I think it goes well with the video.  I don't want to ever forget - or take for granted - this accomplishment.  And maybe this will inspire someone else.

It really is surprising to look back at how big my face - and body - was before I did this.  When my kids saw this video, they were shocked at how much they DIDN'T remember me being so big - even though it was only 8+ months ago.  

Anyway, this is not just about how I look, but about how I feel.  It's stunning how much of a difference 105 pounds makes.  I currently use some 30 pound dumbbell weights for some strength exercises.  Those things are HEAVY!  And I've lost 3 1/2 of them from my body!  I know my organs and joints are happier for the lighter burden.  I am more flexible and I have more energy.  I can turn over in bed without a major effort.  That used to be so difficult!  I can do physical activities without requiring a break every few minutes.  I've begun incorporating a small amount of jogging into my walks, and it feels soooo good to not feel like I'm running uphill through Jell-O as I once described my struggle.  My only problems now are my hip (which needs replacement) and my knees (which are already sub-par due to past meniscus surgeries).  I'm trying to take it easy, while wondering if every running step will be my last.  There's just such a more intense feeling of satisfaction after running, as compared to walking.  Endorphins.

My clothing wardrobe has turned over completely.  I've removed all the size 40-48 pants and 2XL and 3XL shirts, relegating them to the attic.  It's not that I think I might need them again, but I'm also saving them for my son in the event he eventually does this surgery and needs those sizes.  At least that's what I'm telling myself.  I've resurrected all my old T-shirts from my 20's and 30's which are in the XL range.  I've also received some suitably-fitting clothes from a friend's father, as well as from my own father-in-law, both of whom passed away in the past year.  More positively, however, was a trip to Belks I took about a month ago.  I needed some casual shorts and shirts, as I had NONE in my size, which I later found out was size 36 waist (pants) and size L or XL (shirt).  For every style of shorts or shirt I liked at Belks, they had sizes that fit.  That is such a far cry from prior experiences where none of the cool clothes fit, and the only options were what could be found in the Big & Tall section.  I literally shed a tear that day in Belks, as I was so happy to be able to wear "anything" I wanted.  Non-surgical victory.

As for food, here's where I am.  I can pretty much eat anything I want.  The key is that I still can't each much of it.  I can eat about the same amount that would fit in a small bowl or plate.  I have not eaten anything that made me immediately sick.  However, there are some foods that make me feel a little yechy: anything very sweet, such as some breakfast cereals or syrup, anything very bready, including subs or a burger.  The closest I came to being sick was when I had a small bowl of a sweet cereal, followed by a small glass of orange juice.  I think it was just too much sweetness or acid in the OJ.  Anyway, I was fine within 15 minutes.  For the most part, when we eat out, I will immediately divide the portions into 1/2 or 1/3 and only eat what I can hold.  The rest are leftovers.  Which reminds me: I think the financial benefit of getting 2x or 3x out of your food budget should be factored into any bariatric surgery business case.  I can often get 3 meals out of what is served at restaurants.  I think that as long as I continue to eat the small amount I'm eating, I will maintain my weight.  In the last 6 weeks, I have found myself more hungry in between meals.  In those cases, I need to make good choices.  I will sometimes have some peanuts or a few thin Oreos or a piece of candy.  But other times I will have a fruit or a protein bar or some peanut butter on a rice cake.  If /when I have a beer, it is indeed only one beer, and that might take 30 - 45 minutes to drink.  I've had maybe 2-3 sodas in the past 6 months, and don't really crave that.  I still love iced tea (sweetened with Stevia) and my 1 coffee per day.

I've lost enough weight now to where I get the invariable double-take looks when I see someone for the first time in a long time.  People have said they "seriously" didn't recognize me, and if I didn't say anything they would not have known it was me.  I can believe it.  I hardly recognize myself either!  For those who were used to and comfortable with Big Blain, I know it looks like I've gone too far, and maybe even look sickly.  You might implore me to not lose any more weight.  But I think that is due to comparing me to the 250-305 pound version of me for the last 30+ years.  That version of me was not healthy.  Please realize that I am now at the size I was when I started college.  I looked OK and was pretty healthy then, and I think I look OK now, and know I am healthier than I was 8+ months ago.  I still may lose some more weight.  My doctor was targeting me to get to about 185.  While I am perfectly OK with where I am now, I'm not going to TRY to NOT lose any more.  My doctor says that successful patients usually will reach their goal, then gain back 10-15 pounds, and then hopefully stay there.  So I still may lose a little more, and that's OK.  You can see on the weight graph, I've sort of plateaued around 200 the last 6 weeks.  Hope to stay there, or lower!

One of the areas I've tried to improve upon lately is strength training - mainly in my arms and core.  I've always been good about walking, so my legs are in pretty good shape.  But my arms have definitely lost some muscle the last 8 months.  I've been doing some in-home strength exercises, including the dreaded plank.  I'm up to 1 min 45 seconds on the plank.  I try to add 5 seconds every week.

I'll end this post with this last picture from a walk/run I did last week.  The perspective of the camera being on the ground makes me look a lot taller and thinner than I am, but I still like this picture.  I like what the sign says.  Like many prior diets, there was always an ending point.  The trail of losing weight ended, and then I returned back from whence I came.  This time, I'm crossing the threshold.  The trail does not end here.  The journey will continue, and it will continue forward, not backwards.